Play the "I blame Obama" game. Also known as "Pin the Tale on the President."
The game that's sweeping the conservative nation. And quickly replacing group sex, drinking to excess, and charades as the most popular activity at adult gatherings, tupperware parties, and pre-apocalypse get-togethers.
How to Play:
It's fun and easy! Just blame Obama! The more outrageous your assertion the better! Don't just say it! Shout it belligerently at the top of your lungs and from the rooftops! Accompany yourself with obscene hand gestures and racist rhetoric! Cite phony studies and obscure literary texts! Or put it all in the form of a prayer! Be as whiny and as annoying as possible! Be creative and sell it like a professional!
Examples of winning plays:
I ate at Taco Bell and got diarrhea. I blame Obama. My kid got a "D" in English. I blame Obama. This growth on my neck is getting larger. I blame Obama. I can't find my car keys. I blame Obama. My wife left me for another man. I blame Obama. My instant lottery ticket was a loser. I blame Obama. The milk in the fridge went bad. I blame Obama. My gold fish died. I blame Obama. The house needs dusting. I blame Obama. I can't get an erection. I blame Obama. My brain hurts. I blame Obama. My cake fell. I blame Obama. I wet myself. I blame Obama. No one loves me. I blame Obama. I can't think of anything to say. I blame Obama.
Endorsed by:
The Rush Limbaugh Show. Where ego is number #1. And women are number #9,447.
Fox News Channel. Misinformation Central. Proudly manipulating the public for our own evil ends since 1996.
Chick-Fil-A Restaurants. It's not exactly food, but it's mostly edible. We do catering, but only for right-wing extremist organizations.
Papa John Pizza. Everyone knows that food prepared with the finest ingredients and by the under-paid and the uninsured always tastes better.
Wal-Mart. Listen to the sound of prices falling and store employees signing up for government assistance.
The Rev. Franklin Graham. Don't blame God. Don't blame me. Blame the black guy.
Liberty University. Training the next generation of bigots and ignoramuses and doing so at a tidy profit.
Former Congressman Eric Cantor. I lost my seat in Congress and I blame Obama. Say, that was fun!
Can be played armed or unarmed. Special Open Carry "Cliven" Edition comes with four semi-automatic hand guns and a hundred rounds of ammunition. Standard Empty Box "Boehner" Edition comes complete with a cardboard box, shrink-wrap, and large price tag. Guns, alcohol, white hoods, book burning accessories, and Viagra sold separately. Ages 35 to 59.
Yet another fine game created by the Heartland Institute and funded by Koch Industries; the same people who brought you: Flat Earth Society, Gay Bash, The Big Lie, Government Shutdown, Prisoner Non-Exchange, My Fascist Friend, Corporate Personhood, and last month's blockbuster release, Benghazi! Benghazi!! Benghazi!!!
Please note. No animals were harmed in the production of this ad, but, if there were, we blame Obama.
NOTE: Television commercial. Game is being played by an assembly of motley characters in three piece suits and sun dresses (George Will, Steven Seagal, Allen West, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, and Mel Gibson look-a-likes), while the old Shirley Ellis recording of "The Name Game" -- with slightly altered lyrics -- plays in the background. At the end of the ad, gun fire is heard and the players rush into the street, attack the mail man, and set fire to the white house next door.
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