Brain Fractures

Fractured logic. Broken brain.

Hamlet finds it hard to kill Claudius because Claudius's crimes -- killing Hamlet's father and having sex with Hamlet's mother -- are the two crimes Hamlet wants most to commit himself. Killing Claudius is like killing himself.

"In a hole in the ground lived Kim Kardashian."

No belief is preferable to a belief in the wicked. 

Cookies and beer -- no, wait, beer cookies! -- the perfect after school snack.

It isn't until you reach your mid-forties before you even begin to realize how wrong you were about the world when you were in your mid-twenties.

When you're hard of hearing the entire world mumbles.

Hope retained after your forty-fifth birthday is called "delusion."

You may as well enjoy the ride, you can't get off anyway. You're chained to the carousel and so is everyone else.

Life is more devious than the plot of Vincent Price movie. God has more in common with Dr. Phibes than with any other literary character.

I only come out of my room to eat and complain. Sometimes I combine the two and complain about the food.

Spend it while you've got it, but don't throw it away.

I found religion, but it was not to my liking, so I lost it again.

I offer only an honest hopelessness.

I couldn't see the forest for the telephone poles.

Tomorrow is a word that applies only to the living. There is no before or after for the dead. There is no future or past for those who no longer exist.

A politician calling a scientist dishonest is like the kettle calling the wedding dress black.

You don't lie to get people to do what they don't want to do. You lie to get them to do what they want to do anyway.

It's easy to be stupid, uninformed, unreasonable, egotistic, lazy, selfish, and bigoted. Any lie in support of these qualities is generally accepted without question.

Most people would not even notice it, but the days are growing shorter even in July.

Childlike is sometimes enviable, but childish is always contemptible.

You can only hold onto youth so long. After a certain point the attempt becomes merely pathetic.