Doppelganger

the broken mirror
cut my fingers
as i stooped
to retrieve the pieces
         shattered on
the floor
reflects my blood
i winced
pain being inevitable
           i think
homicidal thoughts
images so vivid
that they outline
and define the self
              cannot
be destroyed
so easily

Ten More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Disney Animators does it take to screw in a light bulb? Eight hundred, but they're all from Indonesia, so they work cheap.

How many Porn Stars does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the light socket will have to wait its turn.

How many Project Managers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he'll need a team of crack engineers working around the clock seven days a week for eight months to accomplish the task.

How many Plastic Surgeons does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to fashion a new bulb out of spare nose cartilage and skin pulled from the back of your left calf and one to screw it in when it's ready.

How many Mimes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, and he doesn't actually need a light bulb. And he can do it walking against the wind.

How many Real Estate Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Now, what type of light bulb were you interested in? Can I show you something on the lower east side? It may need a little work, but you could always knock out a wall.

How many Drama Queens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Leave the light off! I prefer the darkness!! Is that you, Mother???

How many Baptists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A hundred and one. One to screw in the light bulb and a hundred to shout "Hallelujah!"

How many Insomniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. Now, shut up or I'll smash your flashlight too!

How many Employment Counselors does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. And the position has been filled! Good day!!

Right to Work

Right to work laws mean. . .

. . . the right to low wages, no benefits, sub-standard housing, poor nutrition, bad schools, polluted water and air, and death at an early age.

Flower and Fly

There are those who approach life with empathy for others and those who don't.

If you are one of the former, I congratulate you on your humility and on your humanity. You make the world a better place. You are the flower on the fence-line and the water in the cup.

If you are one of the later, I feel sorry for you and for all who share your affliction. You make life a drudgery and living a chore. You are the serpent in the garden and the fly in the ointment.

Milton Bradley's Suppression

Milton Bradley's Suppression!

The new game that's sweeping the nation!

See if you can prevent your neighbor from voting! Win the election by suppressing the vote!

Stack the Supreme Court and have voter protection laws gutted! Rail against non-existent voter fraud! Require voter Id's and then make them impossible for low income citizens to obtain! Eliminate early voting, cut polling hours, move polling places to inconvenient locations, and have rest rooms in public buildings closed on voting day!

Dozens of evil scenarios to choose from! Fun for the entire family! Vote for the candidate of your choice, but be prepared to wait in line! Hope you have a large bladder!

Brought to you by the creators of Money Grab, Southern Strategy, Corporate Bailout, Crazy Christians, Union Buster, Shootout at the Sandy Hook Corral, Fuck the Vet, and the ever popular, Not Sorry. Available wherever games are sold and online at mbkigames.com.

"It's the #1 game of the year. I loved it and so did Mrs Sean Hannity." -- Sean Hannity
"Godly family fun. It's rapturously good!" -- Pat Robertson
"I'm willing to try anything that will allow me to keep my job." -- John Boehner
"I play it while armed and drunk and when sitting on the toilet." -- Ted Nugent
"Perfect entertainment for War on Christmas parties." -- Bill O'Reilly
"hhdbruueomdgf hrtywpllllzzzzzz gu ghftyqeew fpldgbvcyentmmmy jyebczc!" -- Sarah Palin
"I eat babies! Babies taste good!!" -- Rick Scott
"Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi! Benghazi! Benghazi! Masturbation! Benghazi!" -- Ted Cruz
"Is this supposed to be funny? I don't understand satire. Look, I usually get paid for product endorsements." -- Antonin Scalia
"What he said." -- Clarence "Big Lynch" Thomas

Due out next Spring, the sequel to Suppression: Gerrymander. See if you can cram all of the Democrats in your state into a single Congressional District! And also, the children's version of Suppression, Class Election (special oligarchy edition).

Milton Bradley is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Koch Industries, Inc. Game sold only in U.S.A., Russia, North Korea, The People's Republic of China, Singapore, and Haiti.

In Hindsight

In hindsight, any liberal arts major will tell you the same thing. A degree in theatre isn't worth the paper it's mimed on.

Today's NRA

It's Saturday night and yet another meeting of the Masturbation Club has been called to order. . .