The A through Z of Peter Griffin

In this scene from television's Family Guy: Peter. . .

A) sees Ernie the Giant Chicken making out with his wife.
B) is practicing improv comedy.
C) has pissed himself. Again.
D) realizes that Barack Obama is a black guy.
E) decides that larger sized briefs might be a good idea.
F) has just been told by Lois that Meg is NOT adopted.
G) just watched his first episode of The Cleveland Show.
H) is looking in the window of Quagmire's bedroom.
I) is trying isometrics for the very first time.
J) has stepped in something Brian left at the foot of the bed.
K) dreams of being a crooner like Crosby or Sinatra.
L) discovers that The Drunken Clam has been a gay bar for fifteen years.
M) admires art at a local museum. Jackson Polack just blows him away.
N) does his McCauley Culkin imitation but, as usual, doesn't get the hands quite right.
O) has a revelation: his favorite brew, Pawtucket Green is people!
P) hears the voice of God on the radio and it sounds just like Merle Haggard.
Q) lets the alcohol do the talking but the alcohol is lost for words.
R) remembers that he left something -- the water perhaps -- running in the shower.
S) contemplates dieting in his spare time.
T) sees the size of Chris's penis and is duly impressed.
U) wonders why they never did a crossover show with King of the Hill.
V) is troubled that the sight of Joe in short shorts is giving him an erection.
W) has just been propositioned by Stewie's teddy bear, Rupert.
X) recites the "Possum Lodge" Pledge.
Y) recalls his old glee club days with drunken friends.
Z) relates his recent visit to the proctologist with his customary wit and sophistication.