Teenage Mutant Ninja Nugents

Possible SNL sketch: Teenage Mutant Ninja Nugents. They live in the sewer, love pizza, play the guitar, crap in their shells, and spout racist, right-wing propaganda. They are all named after prominent Republican politicians (McCain, Cruz, Boehner, and Perry) and are dedicated to fighting the forces of evil (immigrant children, public school teachers, gays, women, unionists, gun control advocates, non-whites, non-Christians, and compromise). Their ninja master is a rat named Reagan.

No Angels, No Devils, Only Us

An unpleasant truth is always better than a comforting delusion. Ultimately more good comes from facing reality than in avoiding it.

For those of you who dispute the factual content of the above passage there are always drugs and religion to fall back on.

Tooth Decay as a Metaphor

If greatness could be bottled, soft drink sales would suffer very little.

Order and Privilage

The purpose of the criminal justice system is not to find and punish the guilty party; it is to maintain an orderly society. It is the primary duty of every cop, lawyer, and judge to make sure that the food is grown and the goods are produced and the taxes are paid and the roads are maintained. Nothing else is of any consequence. Justice is not the endgame here, but an occasional and haphazardly obtained consequence of mechanisms designed to keep the general populous working toward the common goal of maintaining the hierarchic status quo. There's a reason why poor people are convicted of crimes more often than those those with money and resources; and that reason has nothing to do with honesty or morality and everything to do with power and privilege.

I Dare You

Try the newest fad. I dare you. I double-dare you. Be the first person on your block to accept the light socket challenge. . .

It's fun, it's easy, and nearly half of the people who try it escape with non-life threatening injuries and a minimal loss of brain function.

Pro Lost and Found

Sometimes you cry for yourself and sometimes you cry for others. Whatever the reason. Whoever the recipient. Same tears. Same feelings. That's the tragedy and the glory of being human.

Witty Ditty

"How dry I am. How wet I'll be. If I don't find. A place to pee." Sometimes great poetry just happens. . .