THREE DRUMPF JOKES:
1
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Donald Trump.
Ha, ha, ha. (No further punch line required.)
2
How many Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to grab 'em by the pussy.
One to attempt to do the job himself.
One to screw up the job despite assurances that he is the best light bulb screwer-inner in the history of the world.
One to hire an electrician to do the job properly.
One to refuse to pay the electrician after the job is completed.
One to hire fifteen attorneys to defend himself in court when the electrician sues him for his fee.
One to bad mouth the judge at his subsequent trial.
One to bribe the state Attorney General not to investigate his bad mouthing the judge.
One to blame everything on Muslims, Mexicans, Blacks, Gays, Democrats, or a Clinton.
One to notify the Russian mob.
And twenty-five surrogates to spin the whole sordid affair on television the next day.
3
Donald Trump, a rabbi, a priest, and an 800 pound gorilla walk into a bar. The priest orders a beer, the rabbi a glass of red wine, and the gorilla a soft drink. The bar tender looks at Trump and asks him what he would like to drink? "Nothing" Trump says. "I want to keep both hands free for pussy grabbing." The priest blesses himself. The rabbi looks embarrassed. And the gorilla grunts and sits down anywhere he wants. "Okay" the bar tender says. "But there's a twenty-five dollar cover charge. "No problem" Trump replies. "I'll have my charitable foundation write you a check. Oh, and I'll pay the gorilla's tab too. He helped me prep for the last debate. I owe him big time. For that. . . sniff. . . and for the coke."
