What should be done with the Republican Presidential field? I have some suggestions. For anyone who's interested, here's my entire list:
1] The electric chair for Trump. 50,000 volts for Mr Electricity. It'll light up both Broadway and the FOX News studios.
2] The gas chamber for Cruz. Poisoned gas for the largest bag of gas in American politics since Joe McCarthy.
3] Crucifixion for Huck. He'd like that. No resurrection though. It's been done before.
3a] A lobotomy for Dr Carson. Oh, wait a minute, I think he's already had one. He performed it himself just before his last television appearance.
4] Starving to death for Christie. It may take a while for him to die. He'll be able to live off his fat for several months. Maybe several years.
5] Impalement for Rubio. A long stick up the rectum ends all pretension. At least, I'm hoping.
6] Drowning in a crock of excrement for Bush. He's always been full of shit. He might not even notice he's being executed.
7] The hangman for Kasich. Mr Death for the Masses can try his new dance moves at the end of a good stout rope.
8] A chain gang for Jindal. It's a Southern tradition. After all, he dropped out of the race 'cause of "a failure to communicate" with the Republican base.
9] Pressing to death for Walker. No special reason. I just think it would be fun to see someone putting the squeeze on him for a change.
10] The comfy chair for Graham or, maybe, the dish rack. I'll ask Cardinal Fang next time he's around for tea.
11] A penal colony for Paul. Devil's island is lovely this time of the year. If he's still alive after ten years maybe we'll parole him. Maybe not.
12] Carly may live, but she won't be allowed to see visitors, lie to the press, or play the stock market.
13] Rick Santorum will also be allowed to live. I can't think of any punishment worst than having to live out your days as Rick Santorum.
